Create a Safe Place

From the earlier post, I discussed the place you go or activity you do that recharges you. That you go to ‘get away from it all’.

Over the years, I’ve had many people ask me, “So what happens if you don’t have a safe place?”

My answer is usually, “Create one intentionally.”

The best place (to start with) for this is probably your bed. You go there every day to sleep anyway, this just adds more relaxation to it already. (and doing this is still a good idea for anyone with a Safe Place as well!)

Remove any stressors from on, or around the bed. Anything that causes, or induces a stress response. This includes your phone, a TV etc.

When I travel, I use my phone as my alarm clock (after one too many broken hotel alarm and failed wakeup calls). I still don’t have the phone near my bed, instead leaving it across the room. At home, my phone is across the house and I’m unable to hear it when it rings.

Clear away the mess.  Having it in a basket is fine, but get the mess out of the way and out of sight.

Make it a personal rule to not bring any stress to bed. In the book I discuss using a notepad and pen next to the bed to write down ideas and problems that come to mind as a way of dealing with insomnia. This idea applies here as well. So you don’t have to carry the stress to bed, knowing the stress will still be there when you wake up.

(This might also require negotiations with your partner. I can’t really help you with that in this post. But simply telling them the TV has to go for your sanity will likely go a long way…)

Where is your Safe Place

Everyone needs somewhere they can relax and unwind. For some, like myself, it’s usually alone with my thoughts, for others it might be in the company of others.

This event, location or activity I like to call your ‘Safe Place’. It’s somewhere you can go to let go of your problems, concerns and issues.

Regardless of what you do it your Safe Place, it recharges you and there are a few common things across everyone I’ve ever spoken to about it.

First, is that’s it’s free, or close to. No need to spring for a holiday away, simply a walk in a nearby park, or visiting a local beach will do. Sure, a holiday away is always nice, but that itself can be stressful in it’s own way. The event or events I mean here are things you can do every day. Might be having a shower, pottering in the garden, playing computer games, etc.

Second, is that there is activity involved. It might be mental activity, as in reading a book, but still activity. Few people ‘do nothing’ when they are trying to recharge.

Third, many new ideas and problems are solved in this safe place. Solutions to problems that you might be struggling with in your work seem to just pop to mind.

Finally, that it recharges you. There might be hard work involved, but you still love doing it, and find even though afterwards your body is tired, your mind isn’t.

So where do you go for your ‘Safe Place?’